


Shepard : Recollection

by Forrester_Writes



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-08-23 08:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20239498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forrester_Writes/pseuds/Forrester_Writes





	1. O N E

** "We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite."_  
_ **

**-**

_ **SOVEREIGN** _

_"Could you tell us a little bit about him?"_  
_ "Who, Shepard?"_  
_ "Yes, Shepard."_  
_ "There's definitely a lot to be said about him, I'm not going to lie."_  
_ "People say you know him better than anyone else."_  
_ "I wouldn't say that. It's just... where to start."_  
_ "Then why don't we start at the beginning."_

I don't really remember the first time I met Shepard all that well. It was at the Battle of the Citadel. When he defeated Saren and Sovereign.  
No one thought help was coming. I remember scrambling, just fighting the endless swarm of husks that tried to crawl out of every crevice. Some things just have to be lived, you know? He ran straight to me and the few men I had left alive and while his mission was clear, get the arms open.  
We were being pinned down by the dead, fortunately at that point they hadn't quite figured out how to make the non-human husks yet. The Geth were there as well, but yet, they were somehow less terrifying.  
My men were dead, or there about, and honestly? He saved us.  
There were two, not including myself, holding a rifle. At least one had been shot, unable to use his left arm.  
Enter Shepard; Guns blazing, not a shot misplaced. We were safe before our enemy even knew they were dead. That would have been assuming husks could think, though. From what we know now, it's pretty safe to assume that whoever they were, or whatever, they didn't feel anything. When the bodies had piled up and the bullets had stopped flying, he stopped, just for a moment. There was always that question with Shepard, the question and the promise.  
"Are you ok?" He asked, breathing heavily, sweat dripping from his brow. A Turian and another man stood behind him, arms at the ready.  
"We're good Commander." I replied, the arms of one of my soldiers slung over my shoulder, "do what you have to do and we'll hold on."  
The concern flashed in his eyes, clear as day.  
"Are you sure?" The man behind him asked, holding his rifle steady.  
"Yes." I smiled faintly, as reassuringly as one could manage in that scenario. That's the way I like to remember Commander Shepard. Not as the soldier, but the man who cared too much.  
  
I'm not sure what happened to him after that. No one really is, I suppose. He ran off to save the galaxy and succeeded. That would be the first time. He wasn't much for dramatics. He tells the story quite plainly. He climbed up the side of the council tower and into the chamber where Saren was waiting for him. He tried his best to talk him down, succeeded, actually. Though that wasn't quite enough. There was no talking down the reaper side of him. Through a lot of hiding behind pillars and firing incendiary rounds at a rather spooky looking resurrected lizard cyborg, Shepard won. With Saren's second death came Sovereign's defeat. While we all know what Shepard is famous for, so very few of us actually understood what he did. Of course, this is getting off track.  
  
Shepard and I met again at the party in his honour, held on the Citadel a few weeks after the defeat of Saren and Sovereign. This was the time. He was stood next to David Anderson, as I recall. Admiral Hackett was there, as well.  
"Lieutenant." Hackett addressed me.  
"Admiral."  
"Lieutenant?" Shepard asked, confused at my being there.  
"Yes, this is Lieutenant Iris Forrester." Hackett made the introductions.  
"A pleasure to meet you again Commander." I smiled, twisting up the corner of my mouth, seeing if he recognised me at all.  
"Have we met?"  
"Briefly, yes."  
He paused for a moment, the cogs in his brain whirring.  
"Citadel?"  
"Yes." I smirked, "I do recall you potentially saving myself and those who survived from my squad."  
"You look a lot different when you're... clean." He said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.  
"Tactful." Hackett commented, though failing to change his tone.  
"Enjoy your night Shepard." I told him, smiling sweetly, "without you, the rest of us might not be here."  
"Did your man get out?"  
"What?" I turned, confused for a moment.  
"The man you were carrying that day, did he get out?"  
"He's never going to walk without a limp. He'll never be able to fight again, but he's alive."  
"A blessing in disguise, perhaps."  
"Possibly." I replied, taking care to sound unconvinced.  
"I know it's hard to see the benefit of it, in a position like ours." He ground his teeth together, "this war is only going to get worse you know, so maybe staying out of it is the best thing for him."  
"I'd rather be able to defend myself than let others do it for me."  
"On that we can agree, Miss Forrester. But not everyone is like us, are they?"  
"Are you insinuating that we are in any way similar, Shepard?" I asked, smirking all the while.  
"A man can dare to dream, Miss Forrester." He responded, his cheeks slightly flushed.  
"A man can dare to do much, Commander, but whether he does is always subject to doubt." I sauntered past him, my hand lingering on his shoulder for a moment longer than it probably should have done, "though I don't think a man with a service record as illustrious as yours has much to worry about."  
He watched for a moment as I moved away from him.  
"Would you like to dance, Miss Forrester?"  
"Not today, Shepard." I laughed slightly, "and it's Lieutenant, to you."  
"What do I have to do to earn your respect, Lieutenant?"  
"Save the goddamn universe, soldier boy. That's why you're here, isn't it?"  
Such flirty exchanges were not new territory for me. There was always some alliance officer somewhere that wanted to buy me a drink, or that wanted to go to dinner at some shifty diner in the wards. Such comes with the territory of being a Female N7 agent. Shepard was always different. He was kind, forgiving. Gentle. You might be wondering why I would turn him down, given that judgement. There was a reason for that, I suppose. Maybe not a good one, or one that even made sense, but there was still a reason. Shepard deserved someone that could be at his side until he died and that was something a person, a soldier, like me was not capable of. He was a good man with a good heart. He took it well, actually, not that I ever doubted him. He deserved to be loved. I wonder if he ever felt that, truly.  
  
The night passed, just as you might expect. A party filled with strangers and new opportunities. You'd be surprised how many dishonest men want to bribe a woman such as myself. It seems there are many uses for an N7 agent, regardless of rank, social status or even skill. Corruption is all that counts to some people. I myself, despite being coveted by many less than legitimate people, kept to myself, and as far away as one could manage from the bar. Alcohol makes people stupid. I never drank, personally, though I don't blame others for doing so. Recent days have called for it. Celebratory, mostly. With all that's happened, I believe we've earned the right to spend the rest of our lives drunk. Shepard hasn't touched the stuff since though.  
I wasn't really at home at these parties. I wasn't a hero, nor was I particularly well known, that meant only the desperate came to speak to me. Or Garrus Vakarian. Though you could probably count him among the desperate. He wasn't _the _hero of the hour, but he was one of them. He might not have been desperate for the attention, but rather to get away with it. He was there when Shepard saved my squad. I always liked Garrus, I won't lie.  
Of all his friends, he was the only one that had his back through all of it. The most loyal.  
"Lieutenant Iris Forrester, right?" He asked, sauntering over in that typical fashion.  
"Yes, that's me." I gave out a small snort, "Shepard send you?"  
"No, not this time."  
"This time?" I laughed, "he sends you as a go between with all the lucky ladies?"  
"There aren't many lucky ladies, if there are any."  
"You're telling me that glorious son of a bitch hasn't got girls crawling all over him."  
"Enough about Shepard, you know. This party is all about him, I'd rather talk about you."  
"You know my service record, I'm guessing."  
"No, actually. It's classified."  
"Just checking." I smiled, knowing full well that it was, "Admiral Hackett keeps the heat away from me, and I do my job. It's a simple arrangement, really."  
"I wish Shepard had someone looking out for him that way."  
"He does, Garrus."  
"It doesn't feel like it." He swirled the drink around in the glass he'd been holding, "I worry about him. I worry that no one will listen to us. That after all of this... mess... is said and done, the Reapers will be forgotten, that now Sovereign is dead, no one will care anymore."  
"For what it's worth Garrus, I believe him."  
"I just wish you could convince the rest of the galaxy that it's real."  
"No one can tell you what the future holds, my lovely turian friend."  
"That's true, but we can hazard a guess, can't we?"  
  
For all his warnings about the reapers, Shepard was still ignored. One voice in a sea of trillions. It took one landing in the centre of our civilisation for us to even admit that they were real. They were forgotten just as quickly as they were revealed.  
I think that's something people like to forget about Shepard, he was just a man. Only a man. He had his cares and his grievances like any other person would. He was treated with disdain by the majority of his superiors, a common soldier with an uncommon reputation.

_"it's hard to think of Shepard that way."_  
_"What? As a living breathing man?"_  
_ "To hear him depicted as a man so... mundane... contradicts all that we know about him."_  
_ "Behind the man that saved our universe, was a life as normal as any other. He fought, bled and died for the chance to live that life. He had people he wanted to save and to see every day for the rest of his days. He was a man without compare, but he was so much more than the legend that came with him. That's not Shepard as he deserves to be remembered."_  
_ "Then, how does he deserve to be remembered?"_  
_ "As the man who chose the universe's future over his own."_


	2. T W O

_"Most of us are aware of what happened after the Battle of The Citadel, but can you explain what happened in your own words?" _   
_"I wouldn't know, personally. I wasn't there."_   
_"Yes, how about from your perspective? What happened to you?"_   
_"I thought this was an interview about Shepard?"_   
_"and what is Shepard without his friends?"_   
_"Point taken."_

Well, after the Battle of The Citadel, everything went downhill, more or less. Shepard was sent to clear up the remaining Geth after Sovereign's defeat. As we all know, the Normandy SR-1 was attacked by a then unknown vessel in the Amada System. The galaxy mourned the lost of it's most iconic soldier for the next two years. Everyone went their own way after Shepard was killed. Kaidan stayed with the Alliance, but he was the only one that did. Wrex went back home, to Tuchanka, and became the Chief of Clan Urdnot. Garrus went off, leaving C-Sec and the Normandy crew behind, to form a mercenary band that haunted Omega under the name Archangel. There was Liara, who is the whole reason Shepard came into Cerberus' possession, but that's a story for later. Tali went back to the Flotilla.  
They were a family, but Shepard was their kingpin. They fell apart without him, or maybe it was just that they didn't want to live that life without him.  
Who really knows. Unless you want to go and ask them, it's all speculation.  
  
I floated around myself. I didn't quite have that same connection to Shepard that the others did, but the Alliance felt that loss. I was stationed in a lot of places for not very long periods of time. They had me on Earth for a while, researching Cerberus. Then, first whispers of Shepard come in, I was sent to Omega. I worked mostly for Hackett, doing whatever he needed. It nearly always wasn't official, but, bills still got paid. I didn't care much.  
I remember the bar mostly, actually. Have you ever been to Omega? It smells like piss, hatred and the occasional drop of greed and jealousy. It's cardinal rule: don't fuck with Aria. Their glorious overlord. I never did like her and I don't think she liked me very much, either.  
She watched down from her perch. She knows everything that goes on on Omega, so it makes me wonder, to this day, if she knew why I was there.  
The alcohol at the bar tasted like sadness. Watered down desperation, if you could bottle it.  
"You hold your liquor better than the other humans" the Turian behind the bar said, dipping his head in the direction of the slightly inebriated, only half conscious men.  
"Call it a talent." I lifted my glass up, toasting.  
A Batarian came up behind me.  
"Aria wants to talk to you." He stated. It was less a request and more an order. I normally wouldn't have listened, or obliged, but sometimes you save yourself the headache by doing what people want if it costs you nothing to do so.  
I hiked on up to her seat up on high. She was lounged across the settee.  
"You're looking for Shepard, aren't you?" She asked, her mouth curling up into a smirk.  
"You know I am, sweetheart."  
"No need to get cute." She sat up, "I can help you."  
"I'm sure you can." I replied, not giving her a hint of emotion.  
"A Cerberus vessel was just tagged entering the system." She paused, assessing my reaction, "the Normandy SR-2."  
"Ironic, isn't it?" I said, turning to look her dead in the eye, "I am aware of the Normandy SR-2, just as I'm aware Joker, AKA Jeff Moreau, is her pilot. Believe it or not Aria, I know Cerberus quite well, possibly better than most others."  
"No one truly knows Cerberus."  
"Ain't that the truth." I chuckled, "I don't know them completely, but I can tell you about their operations. Did you know about their fascination with the husks? Or the Thorian Creepers? They exported them off-world for testing."  
"Is that supposed to scare me? Convince me?"  
"No, but it should remind you of what they are." I stared at her, unwavering, "the Alliance is not your enemy, not today. I don't care how you run Omega, but I will start to care if you stand in my way with this."  
"Is that a threat?" She asked, standing up. Her guards getting twitchy with their guns.  
"Yes, Aria. It was." I stated, standing straight, "I needn't remind you of the influence the Alliance fleets have. One wrong move against them and they might just decide they're not okay with your own personal Nazi Germany."  
She paused for a moment, looking me up and down.  
"I like you." She smirked, "not many have the balls to threaten me in my home. Not that I believe it's a threat you could somehow pull off."  
She dismissed me after that. No doubt she still kept her eyes trained on me permanently, but that's besides the point.  
I walked down the steps from Aria's booth and there he was.  
Commander John Shepard in the flesh. He walked in, scanning the area around him. He hadn't noticed me. I didn't recognise the man he was with, but I did recognise the woman. Miranda Lawson. She noticed me. Immediately. She didn't rat me out though, which didn't surprise me. This would have been at the point Cerberus didn't want Shepard to have contact with the Alliance.  
She indicated to him she would rejoin him, then marched to me. She grabbed me by the shoulder, dragging me into the back of the club. Shepard had presumably gone to see the Queen of Omega.  
"You need to go." She stated, standing above me.  
"Why?"  
"Shepard is here for a reason, he doesn't want the Alliance involved just yet."  
"He doesn't, or you don't?"  
She didn't reply to that. She never liked me, even to this day. Maybe she respected me, in the end. I did, her.  
"I'll respect your request." I stated, "on one condition."  
She turned, raising an eyebrow, "oh?"  
"You tell him that he still has friends in the Alliance that have his back, now, as always."  
"Do they?"  
"Always." I said again, this time a tad more forcefully.  
"I'll let him know." She replied through ground teeth.  
Now, I can't be quite sure whether she knew Shepard needed to know, or whether she just _really_ didn't want me to talk to him.  
I marched from the bar, leaving the planet. I suppose my job there was done and honestly? I was glad to leave. Omega was built on despair.   
  
I knew how to accept defeat, sometimes. I like to believe that my departure there without seeing Shepard was for the best. All I had to do was secure proof of life. That was my job finished. Hackett would more than likely be satisfied with that. Shepard had a habit of coming back to them in his own time. No one was quite sure what future the Alliance held for Shepard or for me but come what may, I always knew that I would see Shepard again.

  
_"You just left? Did you honestly know you'd see Shepard again"  
"Obviously, this is a retelling with some dramatic effect, but yes. I did."  
"Destiny, perhaps?"  
"Only fools and children believe in destiny, my friend. Though, it is a pleasant concept."  
"I would say that all Shepard did, he was born to do."   
"Yes, I'll agree with you there."  
_


End file.
